I had a realization this morning: I have always loved my family most for what they could be.
I wonder why? Did I get glimpses & then it would just go completely off the rails & then the process keep repeating? I believe so, yes.
And so it seems maybe I have found my reason for my “potential-seeking” behavior. As if I can simply love someone into the best version of themselves if they aren’t willing or capable of doing it on their own. I mean, the romantic in me wants to believe that’s kind of what a soulmate is — someone who makes you a better you and vice versa — but it’s supposed to be because you complement each other, how who they are makes you feel about who you are.
It is not because one person likes who the other is and wants to be like them in those ways, not because one person loves the other “enough” to somehow make it okay to be themselves but only around each other, and, contrary to every sports & prayer healing motivation, wanting it bad enough won’t get it done. It will just leave you brokenhearted over and over again.
Is it possible to escape the cycle of potential?