A friend asked me today what my New Year’s resolution was going to be. Now, it’s important to note that I haven’t made an actual New Year’s resolution in many, many a year. Why? Well, first, I figure any day is as good as the next to change your life. Second, I’m social but not so much a ‘joiner’ in that kind of way. I’m all for the support network that it can create for several people to make a change in their lives at once (hello, No Butts), but at some point in my life, I threw off that heavy mantle of peer pressure when it came to my major decisions and making them on a particular day.
I crack me up.
But, on January 1, when I thought about my friend’s question, I realized that I just so happened to be at one of those pivotal points where, over the last several days, I already had been feeling the need to make some adjustments in my life, and it just so happened that it was a good day to put it into words and solidify the concept in my mind.
I will slow my life down. The last few months have moved at a whirlwind pace. I totally understand why I chose the pace that I did, and while it may not have been perfect, it was absolutely valid. I’ve reached a place now, though, that I’m ready to step back from that pace and do a bit more pausing in my journey. I’m feeling quite happy and content with that — and I also know it’s the right thing for me because I don’t give a damn if anyone else is happy and content with it; if not, they are free to keep going at their own pace. That’s a good place for me.
I will reexamine, redefine, and take comfort in my own boundaries. Wow, I have sucked at this — for years. I’ve been lucky to make some great friends recently though, friends who challenge me in my life and seek my counsel in their own, friends who make me laugh and smile in ways I’d forgotten I could, friends who are very excited to know me and enjoy what I bring to the table of life. I feel blessed and lucky. I feel accepted. I feel equal. And with that, I have found a perfect place to test, redefine, and assert my boundaries, for myself and others. That is a rewarding feeling and a huge part of feeling like I now have the opportunity to slow down a bit.
I will remember my own strength. This is an easy thing for a person to misplace. We forget that we are stronger than the sum of our parts, of our experiences, of how others have treated us. And when we are feeling our strength, it is very easy for us to forget that it can be wielded against others, even when it is not our intention. There is a fine line between using our strength for ourselves and letting it attack other people who don’t deserve it. That is a line I want to pay attention to and remember, from both sides.
Welcome 2011. May you be as bloody awesome as I plan to be to myself.