I may just have to turn “Summer” into a new page for the host of fun things that will be my summer at home with The Boy.
For instance, so far today my son has:
- Told me about the “hot” girls in his class next year (he has last year’s yearbook from there to learn faces and names of kids and teachers) and that he will be dating said “hot” girls. Clarified that he will be dating all of them. But one at a time. I assured him that, yes, in fact, they do prefer one at a time and tend to get mad otherwise so that was some strategic planning on his part.
- Asked me for a snack 132 times.
- Jumped up and down, roaring and whatnot, when I denied snack requests 130 times.
- Told me everything I never wanted to know about the Lego characters he has invented to live out his Oblivion fantasies, ad frickin nauseum. I shall be instituting a “No Oblivion Talk” rule for certain hours of every day, partially so that I can get some peace from it and partially just so neither of us has to feel like I’m ignoring him when he’s talking about it the rest of the time.
- Determined that if the dog was going to be on the loveseat with me, the whole family (in residence – TB is at work) needed to be on the loveseat together. People, the dog and I barely fit, so this involved The Boy climbing his lanky self up and over to lay across the back, which is all of about an inch and a half wide. Mmmm, togetherness! 3 seconds later, he was quite miffed when the dog abandoned us. Because she has sense.
- Had me on the SpongeBob Squarepants Wiki page to find out what kind of pet Mrs. Puff has… and if you think I’m telling you so that you don’t have to take your curiosity and look it up for yourself, you are SO WRONG.
It’s officially summer. Someone get me my vitamins and some bourbon.