I may just have to turn “Summer” into a new page for the host of fun things that will be my summer at home with The Boy.

For instance, so far today my son has:

  • Told me about the “hot” girls in his class next year (he has last year’s yearbook from there to learn faces and names of kids and teachers) and that he will be dating said “hot” girls.  Clarified that he will be dating all of them.  But one at a time.  I assured him that, yes, in fact, they do prefer one at a time and tend to get mad otherwise so that was some strategic planning on his part.
  • Asked me for a snack 132 times.
  • Jumped up and down, roaring and whatnot, when I denied snack requests 130 times.
  • Told me everything I never wanted to know about the Lego characters he has invented to live out his Oblivion fantasies, ad frickin nauseum.  I shall be instituting a “No Oblivion Talk” rule for certain hours of every day, partially so that I can get some peace from it and partially just so neither of us has to feel like I’m ignoring him when he’s talking about it the rest of the time.
  • Determined that if the dog was going to be on the loveseat with me, the whole family (in residence – TB is at work) needed to be on the loveseat together.  People, the dog and I barely fit, so this involved The Boy climbing his lanky self up and over to lay across the back, which is all of about an inch and a half wide.  Mmmm, togetherness!  3 seconds later, he was quite miffed when the dog abandoned us.  Because she has sense.
  • Had me on the SpongeBob Squarepants Wiki page to find out what kind of pet Mrs. Puff has…  and if you think I’m telling you so that you don’t have to take your curiosity and look it up for yourself, you are SO WRONG.

It’s officially summer.  Someone get me my vitamins and some bourbon.

About dyskinesia

Woman, mother, human being, grammarian. I have Attention Deficit Disorder. My child has Asperger syndrome. Philosophy, laughter, therapy, living. Life after divorce.
This entry was posted in Asperger's, Kids, The Boy, The Dog and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Summer

  1. crisitunity says:

    You know, in ten years, you may end up like MP, clinging to every possible moment you can thieve from your son’s adult life, forgetting about the 132 snack requests et al. Maybe. Just bringing it up as a possibility.

    It is a pet snail.

  2. Laura says:

    Vitamins + Bourbon = some righteous colored pee.

    Thank God Crisitunity posted the answer, I may not have been able to stop myself from looking it up on my own. Not that I EVER needed to know the answer, but since the question was posed it would have et at me.

  3. iamheatherjo says:

    Oy. Do you have the calendar marked with how many more days you have left before school starts up again? I know parents that do.

    I dislike SpongeBob. (Don’t look at me like that he’s a freaky little thing.) But I have a SpongeBob toilet seat. That’s what happens when my best friend lets her 5 and 9 year old daughters pick out my birthday present. Yes, I placed it in my bathroom but it’s because I love those rotten children…NOT SBSP! 😉

  4. Kim says:

    Well, I see I’m in the minority here, but I don’t care. WHOOOOO lives in a pineapple under the sea, SPONGE BOB SQUARE PANTS….

    And if by “vitamins” you mean “sedatives,” I hear that goes better with bourbon. Not that I’d know from experience or anything.

  5. boundandgags says:

    Have you seen Sponge Bob’s latest product endorsement?

    When I was a kid I was watching my niece and she wanted to play hide and seek. I let her hide while walking around the house keeping up a monologue about how great a hider she was and how I’d never find her.

    Right into a tape recorder.

    After a while I rewound the tape and it kept her hiding for a long, long time.

    Of course, I had to put up with the derision of being the worst seeker of all time but, as stinging as that may have been, I was willing to live with it.

  6. Sarah says:

    I’m sorry. Now I feel bad that I have the summer off from children while you are basically chained to your. But just remember, you love him.

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