hey, what are you doing?
(studiously ignores question)
what’s in the microwave??
what?!? it is not! it’s popcorn.
Nooo, it’s zombie brains.
it is NOT zombie brains; it’s popcorn!
Sorry, but it’s zombie brains.
geez, mom. how could you lie to your own son like that??
— maniacal laughter —
you should be ashamed!
I know, and I would be if I could stop laughing.