Hello, you’ve reached the home of Dyskinesia.
She is currently busily hating the government, screaming at the top of her lungs, digging through piles of paper/boxes of paper/files of paper, occasionally disparaging the mother of everyone who has ever worked for the IRS, pulling her hair out, aging 1 year for every 1 hour she works on her taxes, ranting about the county’s nerve to take a dime of her pitiful wage at the same rate they take from Daddy Warbucks, grinding her teeth, swilling Pepsi, eating things that are bad for her, going blind from reading tax code, hating tax lawyers, swearing like a sailor, snarling loud enough that not even the dog will come within 15 feet of her desk, and wallowing in one of the four times a year that she hates being self-employed.
Please leave a message after the beep, and she’ll get back to you just as soon as they finish the exorcism on April 16.
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.
“Hey, it’s me. Heather. I was just calling to see if you wanted to let me take you out and get you drunk. Call me back if you think it would help! Bye!”
“Hey, it’s Laura. I just heard from Heather, she has this great plan to go out and get drunk. I think it’s a solid idea. A good buzz is just what the doctor ordered, and maybe we can find a local IRS agent and TP his house? Whadda ya think? Laters!”
“Hey, it’s Kim. Heather and Laura beat me to a witty response, so I’m just copying them. After we all go get drunk, let’s attend one of the 2000 tea parties that are happening around the country tomorrow, print out the 60,000 page tax code (that may take a few days) and then burn it right in front of an IRS building. We’ll probably need to stay drunk the whole time.”
Heh. Here is a quote from an email Dys sent me yesterday:
“[blah blah blah kid’s school stuff, making arrangements for rides, blah blah blah]
Drunk and asleep. Going to spend May drunk and asleep.”
😀
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“Uh…this is the IRS. Your deck improvements are NOT a tax deduction…nice try.”