Fried Green Me

Is there anything better, after a 10-hour day at work, than spending the better part of the next 8 hours working on your kid’s homework project that no child of that age could possibly do with even a lot of help, let alone on their own?  

Okay, so in point of fact, grabbing a goat by the balls and hanging on while he tears ass around the farm yard might be just a tiny bit better, but I dunno.  I’d probably have to try to be sure.

Homework that parents are required to do is bullshit.  Do you hear me, teachers?  Listen closely.  Helping the kid?  Fine, no problem.  Facilitating the research?  Great.  Something I 100% have to do for them?  Caca de Moo.

And assigning said project anywhere within the remote vicinity of April 15?  There is a special place in hell for that, and it’s in a cubicle in the IRS section of hell.

Suffice to say that it is 3:46 a.m., and I’ve officially been wrung out hard and put away wet.  To say that I’m dragging doesn’t really begin to cover it.  And during that 8 hours of project time, my workload for tomorrow doubled, and my start time needs to be in 5 hours.  We’re also supposed to have thunderstorms here tomorrow, so the usual extra time I get on Fridays when the Boy goes swimming (and NEED on Fridays) will probably evaporate.

I need a beach.  I need ocean waves and sunshine and sand and cold, slushy drinks with umbrellas in them and fruit on the little swords.  Much fruit, from many drinks.  Enough to equip my own private little plastic army of pirates with my stash of plastic swords.

On guard, damn it.  ARGH, mateys.

About dyskinesia

Woman, mother, human being, grammarian. I have Attention Deficit Disorder. My child has Asperger syndrome. Philosophy, laughter, therapy, living. Life after divorce.
This entry was posted in Damn It, Kids, People who piss me off and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to Fried Green Me

  1. Kim says:

    I know I shouldn’t laugh, but OH MY GOD, CACA DE MOO???
    Are you one of those peole the angrier you are the funnier you are? Because that’s what I’m seeing here.
    But that is a load of crap – teachers take heed!

  2. Taoist Biker says:

    Sorry babe, and sorry as hell that I wasn’t more help. But I really appreciate all the work you did.

    I’m definitely good for buying you a shitpot of fruity drinks for your plastic sword collection, though.

    Kim: IMHO she’s not always funnier when angry (sometimes she’s just plain pissed the fuck off), but sometimes it makes for a perfect storm of teh funnay!

  3. boundandgags says:

    I don’t know, Dys, I’ve grabbed a goat by the balls and hung on while he tears ass around the farm yard and I’ve got to go with doing kids homework being worse.

    My girlfriend’s daughter had a homework nazi in the 4th or 5th grade. What kind of torture is that? Every night was a production not just when ‘special’ projects popped up. But when the homework needed parental ‘assistance’ I offered to have the teacher offed.

    I suggest everyone keep a sniper on retainer. I have one who offers specials during the school year. He hated homework.

  4. iamheatherjo says:

    I have a lot of teacher friends and I’m going to have to ask them if they do this rotten sort of thing!

    I don’t remember my Mom helping me much with my homework and, hell, after a certain point she COULDN’T help me.

    YOU shouldn’t have homework. That was supposed to be one of the perks of us gettin’ all growed up and gradgitated and stuff…right?

    I’m grasping here because I still have not seen all that many perks in becoming an adult!

  5. iamheatherjo says:

    And for the record, my articulate father would say…


  6. crisitunity says:

    I am so, so curious about what this awful project was.

  7. Try pig balls…easier to keep your hands on.

    We have homework (of which I am in chage of making sure is completed) and we HOMESCHOOL!!!!!!


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