Junkie II, the return

Ahhh, spring, and the smell of yard onions permeates the air so that when the sunshine creates that vaguely warm dirt smell, I am reminded mightily of Taco Bell every time I step foot out the back door.

Also time to change my photo header – and of course, my pics are on the other computer and I’m too lazy busy to go get them at the moment.  A few more days of ice up there will have to do, I guess.

So, the dietitian?  FAB.  I take it all back.  She was fantastic.  I was totally upfront about being a Junkie, and she said, “Well, I’m not about to tell you to go off carbs (like Dr. Doctor said) because (a) you won’t and (b) you’ll put a gun to your head.”  Yes, we had an instant understanding.  🙂  As I said to my husband on the phone later, I stood on the scale and found that, why yes, I am the heaviest I’ve ever been in my life (someday I’ll give more backstory there).  Historically, that has been a moment of total emotional breakdown for me.  Yesterday, it was merely a confirmation of something I already knew, wasn’t happy about, and was there to learn why (menopause has not been kind to me and exacerbated a lot of problems I already had and just didn’t know about) and to learn how to do something about it.  I left in a good mood, and I am still in a good mood.  Even with almost all the shit he mentioned staring me in the face too.  That’s impressive.  And a credit to good work in a few years in therapy, thank you.

So, for right now, it’s more about being careful of getting the right stuff at the right time in the right portions, keeping track, and getting off my ass and moving (my words, though if I’d needed her to say it that way, she would — so let’s hope I don’t in a couple of weeks).  Dr. Doctor wants me to take low-dose metformin, a drug intended for diabetics at higher doses that tends to help people with insulin resistance (from here on known as IR) because it tells the body to burn fat cells for energy which then trigger some biological thing that prompts the other cells to absorb more insulin than they have been in a way that I won’t bore you with.  If you’re more curious than that, Google is a powerful thing.

I used to keep a journal of everything I ate (Ms. Dietitian does and recommends this for everyone by the way just because who the hell wants to try to remember that mundane crap?), and instead of being a chore, it ended up a way to remind myself how well I was treating myself and my body.  So, I’m going to do it again.  Thought I’d start today but since I ended up working from the minute I got home from the appointment (about noon) until midnight last night (quick breaks to get Boy from school and eat dinner), not happening today.  It is good just to even be purposefully mindful, and since perception is something like 842% of reality anyway, I’m okay with that for now.  Pardon me, must check on lunch in microwave.

Having a Healthy Choice frozen thingie for lunch, which, yes, I assume is processed until there’s nothing left of it, but improvement is improvement and what I’ll eat is what I’ll eat, so shaddap.  😀  But just to show you the true rebel I am, the instructions told me to rearrange the turkey slices and spoon the sauce over them.  But I didn’t.  I FORKED the sauce over them.  Because that is how I roll, baby.

And now, I need to get my lazy busy ass back to work.  I’m still hopeful to take my pup for a walk before we go pick up the Boy since it isn’t spewing any of the many forms of precipitation we’ve seen in the last week and are to see again for the rest of the week.  Now if they’d just make my road out of that recycled tire stuff these use on the playgrounds so that my knees wouldn’t damn me to hell with every step, we’d be in business.


About dyskinesia

Woman, mother, human being, grammarian. I have Attention Deficit Disorder. My child has Asperger syndrome. Philosophy, laughter, therapy, living. Life after divorce.
This entry was posted in Damn It, The Ugly Truth, Who am I? and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to Junkie II, the return

  1. Taoist Biker says:

    Very nice, babe. And glad my mood hasn’t rubbed off on you. Completely. Yet.

    I’ll try to have my shit worked out, or at least presentable, by the time I get home.

  2. Laura says:

    Onward indeed! I’m glad to hear the note of optimism in your “voice”. I have a rockin’ nutritionist, too, and thank GOD they can help us make sense of things without being all Catholic with the sacrifice and discipline. Ye gawds.

  3. crisitunity says:

    You are very funny. You should post more often.

  4. iamheatherjo says:

    I fall in and out of keeping track of my eats in my planner. It really can be a nice smack to the side of the head when you track every little thing on a day you THOUGHT you were being good and realize…you really weren’t!

    I’ll try to be better about that WITH you. K?

  5. suzy2110 says:

    Dys, I think you and I have a LOT in common, especially at the moment when getting on the scales makes me want to do my chicken impression (OHHHHHHHHH, FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK- say it, you’ll sound like a chicken) and I have also just discovered I am at my heaviest ever.

    I also feel your pain on the whole carb thing. What is life without carbs? I’d rather have the gun to my head. Your dietician is correct.

  6. Only log the stuff you want them to know about…just lie about the other stuff.

  7. Taoist Biker says:

    Suzy, your chicken impression made us both bust out laughing last night! 😀

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