O-F-F = OFF

Hulloooooow!  Here’s hoping that you all have had a glorious Christmas, etc., and are enjoying weather that does not involve flooding, power outages, or those stealthy killer icicles that try to stab you through the head every time you step outside.

No, we’re not home yet.  TB, in his silly head, must have thought he had a plan when he set up his delayed MM posting, but did his head clear that plan with me?  No.  Therefore, not a plan.  Silly, silly boy.  

Actually, he just must have set the thing up quite a while ago or forgot his head or something because we’d been on the same page for a while about trekking back to the homestead in a couple of days, with plenty of time to be home before the kiddo has to go back to school, so that we can have yet another orgy of gifts, play some Rock Band 2 (and assorted and sundry other video games on assorted and sundry video game consoles… it was a Gamer Christmas, people!), and just generally wish we were getting more done while we’re not doing much of anything.

It’s been a very fine Christmas down South, and we have some goodies to share with y’all when we get back.  Some music, some photos, some photos of music.  Well, you’ll see.  But a special treat for Laura, for sure.  🙂

As to my title, I just have to take a moment to share with you that I took today OFF (well, okay, it was yesterday at this point).  Not worked only a little, not kept an eye on work but didn’t have to do any….  I spent the entire day wholly unresponsible for a thing to do with my job.  And in keeping with it, I didn’t even open up my computer.  Not once.  Did I wonder about work?  Of course.  Did I worry about work?  A tiny bit.  Did I do any work?  NO.  Did I feel guilty?  NO.

For the record, it’s the very first day, including weekends and holidays, that  I have spent wholly, absolutely, totally, and completely unresponsible for anything having to do with work since September.  

Let it be known:  ADD does NOT equal a lack of work ethic.

It also does not equal a lack of motivation, commitment, or attention to detail.  It might mean that I spend some extra time on a particular project because I’ve gotten distracted along the way or because I’ve hyperfocused myself into working through meals or doing more than I needed to do in the first place.  It definitely meant that I needed to find a career doing something I loved to do, that I felt had value to other people (whether my ‘customer’ realizes it or not), and could be valued for doing well (finding that employer took some effort).  I also needed to find something that would offer me an environment that I could cope with, and I thank Al Gore every day for the internet.  I will be the first to say that without those things in the past, I have had a whole lot of trouble holding still in terms of employment, but with them, my God, I work my ass off.  If only it were literally.

So for me to say to you that I have just been totally unaccountable to my job for the first 24-hours in roughly 14 weeks…  Yes, it’s insane.  Yes, I willingly (and mostly happily) exploit myself.  Yes, it’s made me a little crazy.  Yes, it cannot continue like that.  But at the same time, I’m pretty proud of myself, and I feel lucky to be in such a position that I have to find a way to get myself OUT of my chair more instead of wondering whether a staple gun and some duct tape would be enough to keep me in it for just another hour, every hour, every day. 

And yes, it’s 1:19 a.m., and the reason I signed on was to check on my workload for the morning because, hello!, it’s the next day.

What can I say?  Getting out of the chair is going to be tough.  But, I have good reasons, and like all things with ADD, the irony is that it takes twice as long to figure out what works for me and then how to make it work for me.  I know my priorities at this point, and the new year is going to be about getting them to play well together.

Which will definitely require more days O-F-F.

 

See y’all soon!

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About dyskinesia

Woman, mother, human being, grammarian. I have Attention Deficit Disorder. My child has Asperger syndrome. Philosophy, laughter, therapy, living. Life after divorce.
This entry was posted in ADD, Decisions, Family, On the Path, The Ugly Truth, Who am I? and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to O-F-F = OFF

  1. Laura says:

    Good heavens, let’s hear it for a day OFF! I didn’t think you’d ever get one, m’dear!!! I must confess I’ll be glad when you’re all home, all this time warping and “We might be home… AAAAND we might not!” is confusing my poor little head.

  2. Good job on taking a day off…even if it was still in your brain.

    I am in constant trouble at home because of this same thing. I can remember standing on a picnic table on the mountain on vacation (our one week a year…I give two weeks back to the company each year) because I could get a signal on the Blackberry. My wife scowled on the first day, but she understood that my work is a chunk of who WE are.

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