ARGH!!! I have a wicked bad case of can’t-keep-butt-in-chair-itis today! I’m driving myself completely crazy, and that isn’t even mentioning the poor dog, who has spent at least an hour’s worth of time just following me up and down and up and down and up and down the stairs. You’d think eventually she’d get to the point where she’d wait it out a bit to see if I was really going to stay up there or down there before she followed. Great now I have guilt that I’m so spastic that I’ve broken the attention span of a dog.
I’m not sure if it is the fact that I’m having a bit of a light day at work — something I am ohsocertainly due! Maybe it’s the lack of sleep from last night still haunting me? It could have a fair bit to do with my mind doing some obsessing over the fact that I’ve misplaced something incredibly important that we absolutely cannot find after looking for a week (pretty sure I put it in the black hole that is a Safe Place, and therefore, it is never to be seen again). Then there is the holiday, for which I need to make a lot of plans, do a lot of cleaning, buy a lot of groceries, manage the work schedules of a bunch of people who can’t seem to get their shit together on their own -let alone collectively, and do a lot of mental preparation because my family is coming to visit (more on that neurosis soon, I’m sure). And as always, there is the worry over having waaaay too much work to do and not enough time to do it. Speaking of which…
The recent impetus to blog has led to another critical thinking moment, which is that I really need to get a grip and quit the 12th/13th job (okay, actually the 2nd/3rd job, but there are days when job #1 feels like at least 10 ). To be frank, I’ve done them a disservice by staying around this long, which I’m not happy about, and I’m doing myself a disservice by even continuing to contemplate that I’m going to be able to manage working with them. The bummer, though, is that I really wanted to do the work of this particular company because they help a group of people that really mean something to me personally. And really, that’s probably the only reason I haven’t ended my contract already, which is actually just selfish on my part. In short, it’s time to grow a pair and let it go. If I’m supposed to do it, it will fall back on my plate, yet again, right? Right.
I sounded all decisive there, huh? :S Dang it.
I will now keep my butt in my chair for at least 10 minutes. I’m setting a timer!