I’m going to state that ridiculously obvious here: I am not a patient person. Or as I usually say: Patience is a virtue – one I don’t have.
And truly, my impatience is in everything. If I buy a something as a gift for someone, not giving it to them until the appointed date and/or time is just about enough to make me pack my own bags for the funny farm; I can’t stand it. I have an idea in my head for how this room could look better? It is scant moments until I have my tape measure in hand. There have been several times that, had the power been out when he got there, my husband would have come home and tripped over the couch being where the walkway USED to be. Even in conversation, I’m a GET ON WITH IT ALREADY(!!)(!) kind of girl, as my scholarly (read: windbag) husband will attest. (You can feel sorry for both of us there; we’ve both earned it.)
I’ve been more than a little aggravated with my workplace lately. I am lucky in that I truly like a lot of the people that I work with; however, the BS is getting old in what my grandparents called a quick, fast hurry. Hand-in-hand with my impatience is my need to fully understand what is expected of me. I want training. I want to understand my job, my duties, my software, and the tools I am expected to use. I want to understand the rules of the company and the client, and I want to be able to recite them backward and forward in a way that someone else can understand (which, by the way, is part of my job). The reason I want all of that is so that I can function as a highly-trained, intelligent individual within the organization. It is the reason that I am self-employed, working as a subcontractor and paying my own #$%^(*! taxes at a higher rate than sane people. When I am not given this type of information, even after repeatedly asking for it and even fostering ways to make it easier for it to be provided to me (and other in my position), I am left to wonder why. This isn’t my first go-round in this type of position, and I have never been denied this type of information before. Based on other communications, policies, etc., I am left with two overwhelming impressions: Information and training are not being provided because (1) the director doesn’t know what he’s doing in this field and does not recognize how different it is than others and (2) the director wants to micromanage.
The more I think about all of this, the more clear it becomes to me that this isn’t something that is apt to change any time soon. It appears that it has been this way for quite some time and that, barring a supreme act of nature, it’s gonna stay that way. This means that I suddenly find myself in a itchin’ hurry to get the hell outta Dodge.
Which brings me back to patience, and that lack thereof.
I have a resume waiting at another company right now. They’re swamped with new clients and needing help, and their ad came across my desk at the right moment. It’s a company I’ve considered several times over the last few years, but the timing was never right. I think I have a very good shot at contracting with them, and from all I’ve heard, it sounds like it could be an excellent fit for me. Of course, there is still that ‘grass is always greener’ thing, but I’m optimistic because someone I have a lot of respect for couldn’t find a single negative thing to say after having been there for more than a year.
It’s been a week. The ants in my pants are getting antsy. And with every e-mail from the current company that gives one more tidbit of information that directly contradicts something said previously or gives a shred of new information that should/could have been shared in the training that should have happened when I or any of the lackeys below me were hired, the ants give birth to more ants. And they’re all pissed.
Frick. I hate waiting.